Happy Hump Day! Here's a little hook from "Summertime". I'm finishing the final draft now, and I hope to have it off to the publisher soon.
The story takes place in rural Kansas, 1914. Linn Sparks has spent the last seven years as a stage star in San Francisco. She's come back to Brookfield to handle a bit of business with her folks. It seems nothing has changed in the dusty, boring little town...until she sees Ed Ferguson, the love she left behind, and learns he's got a son.
In this snippet, she's visiting Polly, an old friend. Linn has just learned that the mother of Ed's son is a girl named Rachel Johnson. Here's her reaction:
“Rachel Johnson,” she said again, this time her voice a bare
whisper. She remembered Rachel. The poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks. The little
slut who gave the boys whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted it. Whore.
Tramp. Easy pickings. All the names belonged to Rachel Johnson. Linn’s head snapped up. “Why, how would Ed even know for sure...” Her words faded
along with her last chance at denial. Tad’s strong resemblance to his father
made it clear whose son he was.
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Love the hook!
ReplyDeleteNicely done.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful hook, Christina. I could feel her denial and resignation when she couldn't pretend that it just didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteAwesome scene.I actually clenched my teeth as she remembered the mother of the child and I felt her despair.
ReplyDeleteEek! Her reaction is so real. Great hook! :-)
ReplyDeleteI love this! I could feel the stab of jealous and denial alongside her. Nicely done. And it makes me wonder what drove him into the arms of a tramp...
ReplyDeleteHmmm...harsh on Rachel! Takes 2 to tango, but her feelings are very realistic.
ReplyDeleteNice hook! I could feel her emotion as though it were my own.
ReplyDeleteNice! Wonder how she's going to react to the guy now that she knows who he'd been with. Good hook!
ReplyDelete=)
C.
Sounds like a complex situation and one I definitely want to know more about. Great hook!
ReplyDeleteA heartbreaking moment!
ReplyDeleteI with Kathleen...I can feel her heartbreak.It seems she's hanging on to every last hope for this not to be true...and so sad when it finally hits her.
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